Dazed.

Each day is a struggle, down in the dumps one min, and slightly better the next. In the presence of ppl, I try to look so fine, then when Im all alone I crumble so bad. I lose my appetite, I lose my focus, I lose myself along the way, while its just so damn hard on my side, they have it so easy on theirs, feasting like its the new yr's. What for make life so miserable for myself when no one else gives two hoots; I have no ans.

I try, I really do, but not hard enough it seems. Idk how long or if I'd even ever save myself from this rut; never have I felt this helpless. It fking hurts and I can't even lie abt being ok anymore. I question my sanity, but may it not be for long.

Humans, I will never fathom thee.

Trance.

Maybe if I kept myself busy all the time..

Mist

Just maybe.

Quaint.

The Quiet Within.

Change.

 

     

Matter

Like a wave it came crashing down, unexpected of course, in every sense of the word. And fk, I am not ok, but I'd probably have answered otherwise. The biggest disappointment is thinking you have it all under control when in fact it's nothing near. Did the math, and it just feels like I lost a bit of me along the way. Where do I go from here, with a route mapped out, only to realize t'was all a make-up in my head.

With a door closed in your face, He'd open another but I don't see no any other.
I am lost// I am broken// I am foolish.. I am everything I never painted myself for the world to see.



#Never remain bitter about things.
I.Am.Ok.

Inhibitions.

01.03.2012.

Clearest I had of a mind probably; & I conclude that I am my own biggest obstacle. Thru' the yrs, in and out of bonds, I have never wanted to come clean with the scars that laid within. I say its the refusal to face vulnerability in the eye.

Fused.

Tap

1. Hi. I dont mean to scare you, but will you be my friend?

2. Two frumpy looking balls within a picturesque backdrop.

3. The horse made my mother puke/My ankle cracked a couple times I hobbled the rest of the trip.

4. She smiles awkwardly.

5. I would marry him and carry him around in my pockets.

6. And still very much a paedophile/I had trouble telling them apart for a minute or two.

7. I swear to you this picture is fake/I am pretty much a walking disaster with no fashion sense or color-coordination skills whatsoever.

8. No, You've never seen a dog bigger than this.

9. Yes, its a dog. No, its not a mascot.

9. The old but very wonderful bunch.

10. A few months lag (could've been more), but this post exist bcos I simply refuse to get any work done and bcos Im badass like that.