Recent polas by Ray P xx

Big Talks, Bigger Thoughts

Deep talks for big girls.

Meeting up with the IJ girls over the wkend was prolly the best decision all wk. I think the best thing is how we've known some of each other for the longest time in our lives, some going as far back as 16yrs of friendship! Thru' the yrs, we've seen and heard maybe, the dumbest things we do, the mistakes we make, in and out of love, but most importantly, how much we've grown. Some of the topics that circulated around the table really got me thinking..

If I could turn back time.. One thing I'd do is the choose relationships wisely. Disclaimer first, they were great ppl who gave me beautiful memories to look back upon. The only issue here is that all this remains only as memories, they were nothing for my future. Of cos, you'd think I'm being extremely selfish and maybe I really am but deep down really, I know what's of higher importance. If I could choose to do it all over again, I don't wna do it the same way and hurt my family in the process. I rmb the many instances they would be placed second, the times I've to lie and everything else they did nothing to deserve. Yet at the end of the day, while these relationships didn't last, my family's love did.

Success is.. A handsome pay slip with a great job, a dream jeep, a comfortable home topped with a beautiful family. That'd be my answer to you a few yrs ago. I based my success on material goods and monetary values. Of cos all that would make me happy; I could buy happiness literally. And then I think abt success now and all that don't seem to hold that much of an importance anymore. I won't deny that it's hard to not be greedy and to want more, I still do. #YOLO they say, so why wouldn't I want to give myself the best life without having to count my pennies. But when we leave this earth, what happens? Maybe the ppl who gets a share of the moolah I've left behind will thank me for that, and when it's all used up, they'd be "who that girl~". Easier said than done - I'd rather be the girl who had nothing but gave everything.

Everyday, I try. And I count my blessings.

//

Today,

I made up the most beautiful life in my head. In a country with vast greens and blues, mountains and seas. A farm, and just one farm alone, tucked away from the city centre. I will have sheeps and cows grazing with content. Horses will be my transport. 

I will sleep on stacks of hay if I want to. Or have thick clean white sheets to be tucked under. On the wkends, I will have old gramps come over for tea and scones, and we will sing hymns together and be merry all day. It doesn't matter that we can't get the tune right or fail to hit that high note - we laugh and go on singing. We will chit and we'll chat. We will give praise and bask in the goodness of The Most High.

All year round it will be spring and autumn only. It never gets too hot, and never ever too cold. The perfect amount of sun, rain and wind will fill the entire farmland everyday. Everyday will go by with immense joy and content. 

Tomorrow,

I am gna dream of it again. A dream, I know. 

#IJpride

B'cos I love my girls, and mainly b'cos I'm stuck with the progress (or lack of rather) of my essay.. Longest (and possibly tiniest) friends ever, from 7 till we get to 80 *\ ^.^ /*

Can I just be done with school already >_< It's such a terrible rite of passage to go through hatez x100

The Unsaid.

The wonders of make-up and photoshop.

The most painful thing is seeing and knowing your dearest hurting and not being able to do anything. You go on to hear them say things that implicitly suggests their pain, yet the right words never make it to the tips of your tongue. If anything, I'd trade everything for your happiness. And if anything else, I'd rather lose all of you.

You're the strongest I've ever known, know that I'll always be at the back.

Incoherent picture x incoherent post who cares, don't care.

Basically all I wna be doing right now; under the covers x solitude. 

V I S U A L Z #2

Exploring the old streets of Tiong Bahru with one of the oldest friend, who is sucha beauty both inside and out < 3 Don't ever think yourself to be any lesser Jia!

PS. // You're such an au naturale~ Thankq for always posing for me hehe luvvya!

V I S U A L Z #1

For the record, Sentosa x Tanjong Beach Club 3x in less than a month. #Need.A.Repeatz

WHT.

Ever since the momma came back from NZ, she's been acting all strange. Not in any terrible sense but..maybe I should leave it to your own interpretation. Just one Sunday ago, I was donning an all-white get-up for church while the momma was still trying to think of something to wear. And as pictured, she decided it was perfz to do the other end of the color spectrum - all black. Right down to her shoes, which belongs to me btw. You should've seen the satisfaction on her face with her decision. 

With the sissy back for winter break, of cos I had to have her get behind the lens. Its been so longggg... Ha ha superficial pretentious bitch (you thinkin' that). But its always nice to document stuff and then look back years later and laugh at your silly choices or just for keepsake. So anyways we were walking to the carpark; parents in front, us trailing slowing at the back. When we stopped to take a snap, my mother LITERALLY came running back at us and into the picture. I was.. speechless.

And yup, this happened. 

Anyways, it was Papa Chong's birthday wkend so the sissy decided to book a room at Marina Mandarin. Honestly, I didn't think much of it. It was a kind gesture definitely, and very sweet of her. Maybe I have too many unrealistic ideals in my head. Picked up an old book at home and I pretty much enjoy every bit of it. Though of cos I don't agree with everything written, it's a decent read nonetheless. Snuggle under the thick white fluffy sheets, dressed in bathrobe and bedroom slippers, read at the balcony, bask in the heat, order take-ins and basically be away from the world and live in mine. Just a wk of this, and many repeats maybe. Sigh I'm so tired of growing up.

Boring book for boring girl. 

Learning the #selfie ways~